Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash
I feel you there, staring at me from a dark corner in the room.
Your face ever so familiar, but I can’t see you because I am blindfolded by my fear.
I can hear your soft-spoken voice telling me to breathe deeply and you remind me that when parts of me feel lost,
I am really seeking to reach depths of life that require courage to cross.
Your stare, not to frighten me, but to let me know that nothing else will save me unless I go deeper.
Deeper I ask?
But you do not answer, yet I can feel your presence holding me hostage.
I ask why you stare?
Again, you do not answer, and I see your arm point to my chest.
I wonder if you will come closer, but you stay there in the corner, staring at me as you watch tears run down my face.
I take a deep breath and shed layers of darkness as you remind me that the only person who can heal the pain in my life is the person sitting in the middle of the room. You stare to remind me to feel it all because pain is one of life’s most precious reminders that I am very much alive.
When I feel the urge to run, you stare to remind me that all of the truths I seek to find are here right now, because the depths of my heart and soul have not yet to be released. I know you are here to remind me that I am meant to find myself, by connecting deeper to myself.
I begin to quiet my mind and deepen my breath as I feel your presence slowly drift away.
You stare to remind me to take responsibility for the depths of my heart and invite me to the edge where I have no choice but to surrender to the unknown.
You’ll always stare, because you are in fact, a reflection of who I want to be as a man.