Photo by Max Muselmann on Unsplash
You are here again.
I feel your presence like sharp blades cutting through an impenetrable force field as you crawl up my back and onto my shoulders to feed off my insecurities.
You whisper into my ear, words capable of starting a war.
“ you will never be good enough, you are a failure, you are not worthy, the list goes on…”
You have come to close my heart off to the world.
I try to take a deep breath, but all I can find is sharp pains and shallow breaths as your blades cut deep into my chest.
You leave battle scars to remind me of wounds filled with anger, guilt, resentment, and shame.
I return to my breath, and I find courage to place both hands on my heart to stop your raging force.
In this space, I realize you can only survive in moments I have forgotten to live with an open heart.
After all I have been through, I will not let you take me with you. I dive inward, pulling your blades out with an open heart that gives me strength to feel all of who I am as a man.
I will not suffer in life with a closed heart anymore.
My heart is open and in this moment of silence I feel free.